Feeling that New Year ‘fresh-start’ pressure?
In this article, we’ll be looking at how to find ease when internal rules, cultural pressures, and ‘shoulds’ stir—especially with the New Year ‘fresh-start’ pressures all around us.
Why Does the New Year ‘fresh-start’ Pressure Feel So Heavy?
The start of a new year often brings a mix of excitement, hope, and—let’s be honest—pressure. We see messages about fresh starts, big goals, and resolutions, and it can feel like there’s an invisible rulebook dictating how we “should” approach this time of year.
For many of us, these pressures aren’t just external—they’re tied to the invisible scripts we carry within. These inner rule-makers whisper beliefs about how life is supposed to work and what’s expected of us.
It happens to all of us. The question isn’t if our inner ‘should’ committee will stir—it’s when, and what tools we can lean into to support ourselves when it does.
An encounter with my own inner ‘should’ committee this weekend was actually the catalyst for this article’s remothering moment. Sitting down to write the first newsletter of the year, I felt a familiar squeeze in my chest—a kind of anxious pressure to say just the right thing. Apparently, my inner committee has a rule that says: “The first message of the year has to be perfect.”
Our inner friction can reveal the hidden rules we carry
Our inner friction has this funny way of revealing the hidden rules we carry. But here’s the good news: by using a remothering moment, we can step out of the grip of these invisible pressures and into a space of greater ease.
A Remothering Moment for New Year ‘fresh-start’ Pressure
From me to me
Hi love, I’m noticing a stack of thoughts and feelings piling up—“shoulds,” “supposed-to’s,” and maybe even a dash of “not enough.” Am I getting that right?
My response to myself
(from me to you)
Honestly? Part of me wanted to grunt at that thoughtful inner voice and say something sarcastic and very teenager-y back. But at the same time, I couldn’t help but chuckle at my salty, oh-so-human reaction.
Internal Community Pow-Wow
(between my own two ears)
When I paused and let my inner community chime in, there was a collective “of course”—a compassionate understanding that this pressure makes sense given my personal history.
That deep feeling of belonging—of my internal community saying, “We’re in this together”—softened the squeeze in my chest. And in less time than it took to describe the process, the tension in my body dissipated.
The Power of Accompaniment
Here’s the thing about remothering moments: they don’t always come with a big “aha” or a neat solution. Often, the power (& the medicine) comes from the experience of accompaniment—the sense that someone sees us, accepts us, and has our backs, even if that someone is us.
When we pause to acknowledge our inner experience with an “of course-ness,” we create a space for healing and self-connection. In other words, we gift ourselves the experience of accompaniment.
Got Inner-Friction?
Welcome to the human experience! While that inner-friction is common, we can learn to cultivate deeper harmony between our own two ears. And remothering is a great pathway towards experiencing less inner-friction, and greater self-alignment.
Remothering is about creating space for relief, self-trust, and clarity in our lives—one moment at a time.
If finding that sense of inner-accompaniment feels challenging right now, I’d be honored to support you. These articles offer practical ideas and insights:
- From the “How Do I Remother Myself” series”: Remothering Roadmap, a step-by-step framework
- Ever find yourself spiraling into harsh self-talk? Check out this article about the self-talk vortex
And, if you are seeking more personalized support, we can explore this work more deeply together when you book a 90-minute Remothering Foundations: Self-Alignment Intensive session.
May the harmony we’re cultivating between our own two ears ripple out into the world in positive and meaningful ways.
From my heart to yours,
Your guide, coach, and fellow traveler on the remothering journey,
Simona
