Part of the “how do I remother myself” series
In this article, let’s talk about the steps on the remothering roadmap. (Plus, you can scroll down for an visual summary!)
- Step One: Remothering Foundations
- Step Two: Healing Brain States
- Step Three: Recognize Your Adaptations
- Step Four: Connect with your Inner Wisdom
- Step Five: Break Free from Outdated Programming
- Step Six: Thrive Forward
Your inner wisdom is always with you, but sometimes, outdated programming and mental gymnastics can get in the way of hearing it. The remothering journey is about clearing the path so you can build a deeper relationship between “you” and “you”. You already have within you what you are seeking.
The and/also is that the path towards self-alignment can be really long; which is why, having a map to support your inner journey can be incredibly helpful. Ready to dive in with the remothering roadmap?
Remothering Roadmap | Step One: Remothering Foundations
We kick off the remothering journey by getting oriented to where we are now, and where we want to go. Just getting started? Check out this article: “what is remothering”
Step Two: Healing Brain States
In step two, we learn to work WITH our body’s biology and inherent wisdom.
Our brains and nervous systems are always looking out for us, but they are not always responding to the CURRENT circumstances. Which is why, in this step, we learn about the “of-course-ness” of the adaptations our wise younger selves created. And we learn how to communicate with the parts of our brain that don’t speak words.
It’s that appreciation for the wisdom of our systems that support us to bring enough self-compassion online to make the changes we are setting out to create.
Step Three: Recognize your Adaptations
In step three, we’ll learn how to spot the clues that we have an adaptive behavior, because what we don’t see, does affect us – yikes! But the good news is that once we recognize our adaptations, we can use the tools we’ll be learning along the remothering journey to shift from reflexive to intentional.
Some of our adaptations have served us well, and we’ll want to keep them; others fall into the category of “adaptive then, maladaptive now”.
Step Four: Connect with your Inner Wisdom
Imagine that feeling of “I’ve got you” in all situations. Experiencing connection, wise counsel, and belonging. To know that someone has our back. To feel witnessed, accepted, protected, nurtured, loved, and respected. As we are. And as we are becoming.
In step four, we’ll deepen our inner-connection so we can turn within to access the mother qualities we humans naturally seek. We also learn how to quiet mental chatter and hijacked thoughts using a tool I call “spotting the interlopers”.
Step Five: Break Free from Outdated Programming
Having identified some of our unhelpful patterns, and intentionally connected with our inner wisdom, the next step on the remothering roadmap is to learn tools to break free from any outdated programming that no longer serves.
In step five we lean into the tools and techniques to update patterns and rewire with intention. We learn about our identity beliefs (where they hide and how they impact us). We take a look at resistance – how and why it shows up. And we learn how to prune our limiting beliefs and create new ones ON PURPOSE.
Step Six: Thrive Forward
Learn to thrive forward in self-alignment (with healthy boundaries!)
In steps one through five, we build our inner scaffolding on a sturdy foundation. And here, in step six of the remothering roadmap, with our deepening self-connection, we point our focus towards thriving forward.
One of the key skills we learn in step six is healthy boundaries, without guilt (even if we have boundary-impaired others in our lives).
In step six, we also learn tools to support our day-to-day lives, out in the world with other humans — some of whom have done their work, and some who have not. The human adventure is textured and layered; just because we’ve traveled our remothering journey, doesn’t mean we won’t get pinged. And while life’s challenges don’t magically disappear, the impact they have on us can change. Step six sets us up for thriving forward in self-alignment.
For more about the remothering journey, check out some of the other articles on the blog, sign up for the reMothering.org newsletter, check out the reMothering Masterclass, and/or follow me on Instagram.
Here’s to you and your real & beautiful life.
And here’s to thriving forward!
from my heart to yours,
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