It wasn’t about the win—but it still stung
: Tales of a recovering good daughter
Have you ever found yourself emotionally hijacked by something that seemed small… but landed somewhere deep?
This story originally appeared in the Center for Remothering newsletter. I’m sharing it here in case it finds you at just the right time...
Recently, during a professional trainings, we were invited to create a short video—under two minutes—as part of a friendly challenge. It might sound straight-forward, but sometimes assignments like that feel stretchy for me.
When they announced the winner, the feedback was: “No one in this cohort managed to stay under two minutes”.
Except… I did!
It wasn’t about winning. But that statement left a sting. I had the immediate urge to set the record straight. And beneath that? A younger part of me was navigating an emotional stew.
That’s the tender spot this month’s reflection is circling around—the deep, human longing to be seen and known. And the emotional stew that follows when we don’t feel that way? It’s so real.
For many of us, it’s not just about the moment.
It’s the echo of what’s come before.
When that kind of moment hits—a comment, a misunderstanding, a feeling of being overlooked—it can stir up more than what’s visible on the surface. And, that can lead to finding ourselves emotionally hijacked That’s when a remothering moment can be so powerful. Something as simple as pausing and saying to yourself:
“Of course that landed hard. That younger part of me just wanted to be seen.”
And while yes, depending on our personal history, even though that kind of moment can stir complicated grief for our younger one’s longing—sweet inner community member, we all want that—nevertheless, a remothering moment really can offer relief.
Here’s why:
Being there for ourselves sends soothing neurochemicals that support us in staying anchored in the present, instead of spiraling into old strategies (like shutting down or overexplaining, for example).
And from that anchored place, we’re more likely to access clarity—about what we’re feeling, what we need, and how we want to move forward.
on the blog
- New around here?
A good starting place to get oriented is to visit the reMothering.org home page and/or check out the article: What Is Remothering - Wrestle with Harsh Self-Talk? Check out:
> Quieting Harsh Self-Talk and Inner Task-Managers
> 5 After-Effects of Emotionally Immature Parenting - More tales of a recovering good daughter:
> Taming the Emotional Bull
> When Small Moments Stir Big Feelings: Navigating Holiday Emotions
> Parenting Emerging Adults: individuation and uncertainty
