What Were We Wired For?
The Invisible Rules We Inherited—And How to Step Into Freedom Beyond Them
Ever feel like you have no choice but to anticipate, absorb, and manage everything around you? The tension in a room, the weight of unspoken expectations, the needs of others—sometimes before they’re even voiced. If that feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us were wired for hyper-awareness before we even understood what that meant. But wiring isn’t destiny. Rewiring for inner peace begins when we recognize these patterns—so let’s dive in and explore what we’ve been carrying, what’s possible, and how we can move forward with greater ease.
For those raised by emotionally immature parents, emotional intelligence wasn’t always modeled for us—which means we learned to navigate relationships by reading between the lines. Instead of learning that our needs mattered, we learned how to adapt. Instead of feeling safe enough to be ourselves, we learned how to blend in, smooth things over, and keep the peace.
And that kind of constant vigilance? It’s like wearing a weighted vest our entire lives—building strength in ways we may not even realize.
The good news? We can take it off. Even better, when we do, we get to keep the hard-earned strength we built.
Rewiring for Inner Peace: What We Were Wired For & What We Can Relearn
Many of us learned to anticipate others’ emotions, manage unspoken expectations, and absorb what wasn’t ours to hold. But what about self-compassion? What about receiving support? What about recognizing that we are allowed to have needs, too?
Here are just a few examples of what we may have learned by necessity—and what we may still be learning (or unlearning) by choice:
Skills We May Have Built (The Hard Way)
✔️ Learning to read a room quickly and anticipate needs
✔️ Becoming highly attuned to others’ emotions
✔️ Navigating complex relationship dynamics
✔️ Over-explaining or over-apologizing
✔️ Handling what needs to be handled—sometimes (or often) without pause or support
Skills We May Be Developing Now (By Choice)
⭐ Setting boundaries without guilt
⭐ Speaking up for our needs without over-explaining or justifying
⭐ Extending the same compassion to ourselves that we so easily give others
⭐ Rewiring any unhelpful beliefs about our worth
⭐ Recognizing that other people’s discomfort isn’t mortal-danger—learning to tolerate it without shutting down or people-pleasing
How Remothering Supports Rewiring for Inner Peace
The good news? Neuroplasticity is on our side.
The harder truth? Rewiring deeply ingrained patterns takes time and intentional effort.
But remothering offers a way forward. It helps us recognize the metaphorical weight we’ve been carrying, spot the zipper on that weighted vest, and realize we don’t have to wear it forever.
With choice comes freedom. And with freedom, we can step into greater ease, clarity, and inner peace.
Resources for the Journey
🌀 Read: The Remothering Roadmap – A guide to the six essential steps of remothering.
🎧 Explore: The Self-Paced Remothering Course – A foundational $129 course designed to support your journey.
💡 Work With Me 1:1: Remothering Foundations: Self-Alignment Intensive – A personalized, 90-minute session to explore your unique patterns and pathways to self-alignment.
Rewiring for Inner Peace, One Moment at a Time
What’s Possible
Sometimes, we just need to know what’s possible, so I’d love to share a message with you that I received this week from someone on her own remothering journey (shared with permission):
“I am so deeply grateful that I’ve started this remothering journey, and more recently with you one-on-one. The difference in how I see life, how I respond to things (plus a million other differences) since I started coaching with you, is monumental!!!”
Onward to Ease
We don’t have to stay wired for vigilance. We can rewire for inner peace and ease. One moment at a time, we’re learning to create safety within ourselves—to unfasten the metaphorical weighted vest, release what no longer serves us, and step forward with greater lightness and freedom.
May the harmony we’re learning to cultivate between our own two ears ripple out into the world in meaningful and lasting ways.
From my heart to yours,
Your guide, coach, and fellow traveler on the remothering journey,
Simona
Related Articles
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How growing up with an emotionally immature parent can shape your adulthood - Belonging and Becoming
On Belonging and Becoming: Lessons from Women Who Run With the Wolves. A companion and wayfinder for when we seek not just where we fit, but we are called to journey to where we deeply belong - Implicit Memory: How Our Brain “Knows” a Thing
Understanding why old patterns resurface and what to do about it
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