Unconscious Contracts: what they are, how to release them
In this article you’ll learn:
- What are unconscious contracts
- What are the clues that we are operating from within an unconscious contract
- How do we release ourselves from an unconscious contract
Based on an interview with Sarah Peyton and Simona Vivi H at this year’s reMothering Masterclass
What are unconscious contracts?
When we are young, if we experience difficult things and we don’t have the support from regulated caregivers to digest the experience, we make agreements with ourselves to make sure that the scary thing will never happen again.
Sarah calls these internal agreements that we make, unconscious contracts. These agreements are created to be helpful, but they are made based on the resources we have available to us at the time. As we grow into adults, we may realize that we’ve tied ourselves in knots with unsustainable vows that may no longer be the best path forward.
Clues that we are operating from within an unconscious contract
Phrases like “I always”, “I never”, “I must” are clues. Whenever we find ourselves being rigid or absolute, we may be in the hands of an unconscious contract. Our brains hold so many possibilities, we are not limited like that. So, when we find ourselves believing in a limitation, one option we have available to us is to get curious and wonder if perhaps we are operating from within an unconscious contract.
How to release an unconscious contract
By acknowledging the truth of what these contracts are trying to solve, while also holding the cost, we can begin to transform the outdated adaptive patterns.
When we can hold the roots of our unconscious contract with an of-course-ness, what we are doing is sending soothing neurochemicals to our brains, which create the conditions needed to make the changes we are seeking. From that healing brain-state, what we can do is follow Sarah’s 4-step process. Here’s a worksheet that takes you through the process. You can also watch a demo of the process below.
How to release an unconscious contract [demo]
Watch this video for a demo. In this video, Sarah leads Simona through the unconscious contract release process.
Unconscious Contract, Resources
- Here’s a worksheet that Sarah created for our reMothering Community that takes you through the unconscious contract release process
- Check out SarahPeyton.com for classes, meditations, and other resources
About Sarah Peyton
