Unconscious Contracts: what they are, how to release them

In this article you’ll learn:

  • What are unconscious contracts
  • What are the clues that we are operating from within an unconscious contract
  • How do we release ourselves from an unconscious contract

Based on an interview with Sarah Peyton and Simona Vivi H at this year’s reMothering Masterclass

What are unconscious contracts?

When we are young, if we experience difficult things and we don’t have the support from regulated caregivers to digest the experience, we make agreements with ourselves to make sure that the scary thing will never happen again.

Sarah calls these internal agreements that we make, unconscious contracts.  These agreements are created to be helpful, but they are made based on the resources we have available to us at the time. As we grow into adults, we may realize that we’ve tied ourselves in knots with unsustainable vows that may no longer be the best path forward.  

Clues that we are operating from within an unconscious contract

Phrases like “I always”, “I never”, “I must” are clues. Whenever we find ourselves being rigid or absolute, we may be in the hands of an unconscious contract.  Our brains hold so many possibilities, we are not limited like that.  So, when we find ourselves believing in a limitation, one option we have available to us is to get curious and wonder if perhaps we are operating from within an unconscious contract.

How to release an unconscious contract

By acknowledging the truth of what these contracts are trying to solve, while also holding the cost, we can begin to transform the outdated adaptive patterns. 

When we can hold the roots of our unconscious contract with an of-course-ness, what we are doing is sending soothing neurochemicals to our brains, which create the conditions needed to make the changes we are seeking.   From that healing brain-state,  what we can do is follow Sarah’s 4-step process.  Here’s a worksheet that takes you through the process.  You can also watch a demo of the process below. 

How to release an unconscious contract [demo]

Watch this video for a demo. In this video, Sarah leads Simona through the unconscious contract release process.

Unconscious Contract, Resources

  • Here’s a worksheet that Sarah created for our reMothering Community that takes you through the unconscious contract release process
  • Check out SarahPeyton.com for classes, meditations, and other resources

About Sarah Peyton

Sarah Peyton is a neuroscience educator and the author of the Resonance book series.  Sarah works with audiences around the world to create a compassionate understanding of relational trauma on the brain, and teaches people how to us resonate language to heal trauma.  You can find Sarah at both SarahPeyton.com and YourResonantSelf.com.  Visit her websites for resources, classes, meditations, and more.

Posted by Simona Vivi H

Simona Vivi H, globally recognized remothering expert and transformational life coach, guides adult daughters to healthier boundaries, self-kindness, and the transformative remothering journey. Trade the 'don’t be selfish' conditioning for ease, clarity, and self-alignment. Connect at CenterForRemothering.com, reMothering.org, and on Instagram @the.remothering.coach.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *