Ever Experience a Mental Hijack?
Ever find yourself mentally sparring with your mother in your own head—long after the actual conversation ended?
That was me last week. And while today I’m sipping tea with a regulated nervous system as I write this, last Sunday morning wasn’t so zen.
What a Mental Hijack from Mother Wounds Can Look Like
I found myself caught in a doozy of a mental hijack. You know the kind where you’re monologuing to making your case to yourself, and you’re going back and forth in your own mind because you know that you can’t have the conversation with the person because you’re just not going to get through to them.
Have you ever found yourself in that spiral?
🎥 Prefer to watch instead of read? I recorded a short video last week when the experience was still fresh.
👉 Click here to watch the video
It had been a while since I’d experienced one that intensely. Thanks to the remothering work, those conversations in my head with my mother are less frequent—and they are typically less intense. But this one reminded me what it used to feel like before I had so many tools to lean into.
What to Do (and NOT Do) in the Thick of a Mental Hijack
The good news is, with a homeopathic dose of myself outside of the vortex of my mental chatter, I was able to put myself to bed early and keep myself out of certain conversations that wouldn’t have been wise to have while I was so activated.
Sometimes we have a tendency to heap a heaping pile of “shoulds” and guilt and judgment on ourselves, on top of the pain we’re already in.
If you find yourself in that spot, my invitation is this… instead of piling on “shoulds,” guilt, or self-judgment on top of the pain you’re already in… try offering yourself an of-course-ness. Of course you’re feeling this way. This is human. Offer yourself grace.
Then—if it’s available—gift yourself a little care:
- Hydrate
- Take a few breaths with extra-long exhales
- Run cold water on your wrists
- Lean into a remothering moment
- Tuck yourself into bed early
And if none of those tools help you come out of the spiral, consider reaching for support. Whether it’s coaching, therapy, or a trusted companion who can sit with you in an “I’ve got you” moment—remember: the wound happened in relationship… and healing often happens there too.
Why Mental Hijacks from Mother Wounds Can Show Up Unexpectedly
For many of us, the mental hijack doesn’t start in adulthood. It’s a residue of early adaptations. If we grew up in emotionally immature households—where clarity, attunement, or real repair weren’t modeled—our nervous systems would have created adaptive strategies to navigate what was.
That’s what makes this swirl so familiar… and so exhausting.
When mental hijacks from mother wounds show up, as uncomfortable (and downright frustrating) as they can be, they are also a clue that our internal community is overwhelmed, unsure how to move forward, or still responding to an emotional landscape that no longer exists—but hasn’t yet been updated.
The good news is that neuroplasticity is on our side.
That doesn’t mean we’ll never find ourselves in a mental hijack moment. This human adventure is more complicated than a part of me feels like it should be —in ways both personal and global. But I believe that the harmony that we are each learning to cultivate between our own two ears ripples out into the world in positive and meaningful ways.
And I’m grateful to be walking this journey with you.
from my heart to yours,
your guide, coach, and fellow traveler on the journey,
Simona
More Resources
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- Ever get caught in the vortex of harsh self-talk?
- The “Weighted Vest Effect” of Having a Difficult Mother
- Recognizing Adaptive Patterns: Unlocking Freedom from Old Roles
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