Stop Barehanding Emotional Turds (& other remothering wisdom)

Remothering Wisdom for nurturing self-compassion and healthy boundaries

Another adult metaphorically drops a huge, steaming, emotional turd in your presence.  Do you reflexively lean in to pick it up thinking “that’s what good people do”?

Stop Barehanding emotional turds (and other remothering wisdom)

For those of us that were essentially indoctrinated with a misguided definition of what it means to be selfish, we may spend a lot of time scanning for what another person wants or needs.  And, so many of us were conditioned that that’s what good people do.

The bummer is… that misguided definition can have an impact on our physical, emotional, relational, and financial health over time. (Which is not so ‘good’ for the people we love most in this world.)

How do we break free from the ‘good girl’ archetype and stop picking up other people’s emotional turds?
We lean in for remothering moments and begin to transform our relationship with ourselves. The remothering moments support us to practice turning within to access the nurturance, love, wise counsel, and all of the other mother qualities we humans naturally seek.

What are remothering moments? Keep reading to learn what remothering moments are, and then scroll down to check out 5 Remothering Moments that have resonated with our community on Instagram.

Remothering Moments

Remothering moments are when we turn towards ourselves with the same care, kindness, and compassion that we may have historically reserved for other people.  What does it sound like when we turn within for nurturance, belonging, guidance, and love? 

For many of us, it takes some practice to learn to speak to ourselves with kindness, so below are some Remothering Moments that have resonated with our community on Instagram.  These practical examples will help you find your voice as you cultivate your relationships with yourself. 

On the journey towards nurturing self-compassion and healthy boundaries, seeking and leaning into ‘Remothering Moments’ becomes a transformative tool.  These moments guide us towards relief, healthy & aligned boundaries, self-kinder minds, and thriving forward in authentic alignment.

As we explore these examples, I’d love to invite you to notice which resonate most for you.  And if this tool feels aligned, I’d like to invite you to consider how Remothering Moments could play a role on your journey.  


May the peace we are learning to cultivate between our own two ears ripple out into the world!!!

~Simona Vivi H


A journey towards relief, healthy & aligned boundaries, self-kinder minds, and thriving forward in authentic alignment

Now that we understand the importance of nurturing self-compassion and healthy boundaries, let’s dive into the world of Remothering Moments, starting with Remothering Moment #95.


Remothering Moment #95

Remothering Wisdom for if we’ve stayed up waaayyyyyy to late watching RomComs

RomComs are awesome. But, one night I really over did it.  And, while often times, a RomCom or two is exactly what I needed; that particular night-not so much. I feel grateful for the increasingly self-kind relationship I have between me & me, because in the past, I may have be really harsh with myself and not been able to hear the deep truth of my answer. Here’s to self-kindness along the way. May the peace we are learning to cultivate between our own two ears ripple out into the world. Click here to find Remothering Moment #95 on Instagram

Remothering Moment #52

Remothering Wisdom for relationally hard moments

It may seem counterintuitive, but WHAT IF by being there for ourselves, we have more for those we love most in this world.

Find Remothering Moment #52 on IG here

Remothering Moment #17

Imaginary Text, from me -to- me, for encouragement

“Do it my way, or prepare to be judged if it goes awry”


“The ‘right’ choices don’t mean they’ll be free from complexity. What it means is your inner wisdom knows that you’ll have you. Whatever comes. We can’t control how life unfolds, so we’ve gotta make the choices that are aligned. xoxo a zillion.”

For many of us, those tough-love messages we heard as children get internalized, and now they are coming from us to us. Which, is normal, and part of what it means to have a human brain…. AND/ALSO, that same human brain can do amazing things like unlearn outdated patterns that no longer serve and thrive forward in self-alignment.

Remothering Moment #17 on IG

Remothering Moment #3

Remothering Wisdom for Shame or Guilt

When shame or guilt are present, sometimes it’s because there’s something we’ll want to take accountability for and repair. Sometimes it’s outdated thought-habits that no longer serve. Sometimes it’s projection from another.

A self-kind mind helps us discern the path forward. With love.

Remothering Moment #3 on IG

Remothering Moment #32

Remothering Wisdom for REPAIR as part of relational health

Growing up, I literally had no idea that disharmony was part of healthy relational rhythms. And I absolutely didn’t know this concept of repair. I was well into my adulthood before I first heard this term: “harmony, disharmony, repair, and back to harmony”.

When we don’t know repair is possible, OF COURSE, we’ll develop adaptations to try to prevent disharmony. Which means, as adults, we’ll have some unlearning to do. Yup! Humaning. It’s not as straightforward as I feel like it should be, but I guess that’s how it goes. Here’s to learning forward on this human adventure!

Remothering Moment #32 on IG

 Do you have a favorite? 

I’d love to hear in the comments. 


For more Remothering Wisdom

Check out more articles from the blog….


Learn how to set boundaries and overcome ‘boundaries are selfish’ conditioning in this essential introductory guide

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Remothering Roadmap

Part of the “how do I remother myself” series. This article is a step-by-step overview of the remothering roadmap

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Posted by Simona Vivi H

Simona Vivi H, globally recognized remothering expert and transformational life coach, guides adult daughters to healthier boundaries, self-kindness, and the transformative remothering journey. Trade the 'don’t be selfish' conditioning for ease, clarity, and self-alignment. Connect at,, and on Instagram

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